The Secret Life of Kakashi Hatake
by ZombieWithCandy
Summary: These are short stories about what Kakashi Hatake really does in his free time!
1. Kakashi's Vacation

The Secret Life of Kakashi Hatake

**The Secret Life of Kakashi Hatake**

**Well, everyone who loves Naruto should know the story of Kakashi Hatake. If not, look it up because I do not feel like explaining it to you all! Mkay! Well I hope you guys enjoy the "Secret Life of Kakashi Hatake."**

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BEEP! BEEP! BE-BAM!

"Damn alarm clock. Always fuckin' wakin' me up too damn early…", mumbled Kakashi Hatake as he slammed his fist on the alarm clock. Looking at the alarm he saw that he had shattered it into pieces.

"Well…Isn't this just great. I need a new freakin' clock.", Getting up, he stretched his tired body and yawned loudly. As he did he noticed he wasn't in his house.

"What the hell? Wha-where am I??", He looked around and on the bed next to him was a woman, naked, and wrapped up in the sheets.

"Aww, shit.", Kakashi said as he slumped his head. He got up and trips falling onto his stomach. "AHHHHH!! MY FUCKIN' MORNING BONER!!", He screamed out in pain as he grabbed it and mumbled out curse words.

In the stir of commotion, the woman lying on the bed wriggled and moaned Kakashi's name several times.

"Wow…Was it really that good?? Hmm…", he said as he re-arranged himself and put his clothes, and mask, back on and ran out of the house.

"Hmm…Well that was an interesting experience now wasn't it?"

"What was Kakashi-sensei??"

"GAH, NARUTO-KUN!? WHAT?? UMM, I DIN'T SAY ANYTHING!!", shrieked Kakashi to Naruto-kun as he was surprised.

"Kakashi-sensei?? What did you do last night??"

"Urm, Naruto-kun what are you implying??"

"Well, Kakashi-sensei…You have a pair of pink panties on your head.

"Umm…Well…You see…"

"Kakashi-sensei…save it. You got shit-faced last night and fucked some random chick didn't you??"

"Eh…Well, Naruto-kun, I guess you could put it that way…"

"Wow, Kakashi-sensei!! You're like a pimp now!!"

"Now, now Naruto-kun…I'm not a pimp…I'm a-"

"Kakashi-sensei you're a fuckin' pimp!!"

Then, out of nowhere, Jiraiya-sama appears.

"Naruto-kun, did you say Kakashi-san is a pimp?? Why do you say that??" said Jiraiya-sama with the smell of a lot of sake on his breathe.

"Yeah, Ero-sennin!! He got shit-faced and horny as hell, just like you are, and fucked some random chick!!"

BLAM!!

"Naruto-kun…I AM NOT SHIT-FACED!! Well… I am a little horny though…TeeHee…", Jiraiya-sama chuckled as he blushed and ran away to the nearest strip club.

"Well, Naruto-kun. I'm gonna be goin' now sooo…", and with that Kakashi ran away big eyed and blushing.

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The next day…

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"Ugh…My head is killing me…"

Kakashi turned over on his bed and woke to see a naked woman lying next to him again. He rolls back over and puts his head behind his head and smiles.

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"Damn…I am good."

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**Thank you for reading! Please comment and so on! If you have any questions, please **

**feel free to message me. And thanks again!**


	2. Sasgay appears!

The Secret Life of Kakashi Hatake

**The Secret Life of Kakashi Hatake**

**Oh…This is a chapt. about Sasuke being gay. I hate Sasuke by the way. Sorry for those who do like him.**

"Kakashi-sensei, Kakashi-sensei!!", screamed a voice from afar.

"Hmm…Oh, Naruto-kun. What is it?"

"Well…Sasuke is acting kinda funny right now."

"Oh? And how is that??", mumbled Kakashi as if he didn't care. Which he honestly didn't because he was walking back from a bookstand with the newest issue of, 'Icha-Icha Paradise'.

"Ooohhhh, Naruto-kun!! I've been looking everywhere for you!!", yelled a voice that seemed to be getting closer and closer. And in seconds Sasuke had tackled Naruto and began cuddling with him.

"GAH!! SASUKE-KUN GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!!", hollered Naruto as he was trying to pry Sasuke body off of his.

"Well, Naruto-kun it seems as if someone has a small crush on you.", chuckled Kakashi.

"SMALL!! HE HAS A FUCKIN' SHRINE OF ME IN HIS ROOM!!"

"Oh, yes Naruto-kun. I have more than one shrine of you. They are everywhere in my house as a matter of fact!"

"Uh-huh…Well Naruto-kun…I have no fuckin' clue what to tell you because I've never had a gay stalker before! So, I can't help you out."

"WHAT!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T HELP ME OUT!!"

"I just can't help you out, Naruto-kun. Bye now!"

And with that Kakashi simply vanished in a poof of smoke.

**Later at Kakashi's place**

**"**Ahhh…Finally, some peace and quiet so I can read my new issue of, 'Icha-Icha'"

Kakashi quietly read his book and did some other things he needed to get done. He worked a little bit on his own version of 'Icha-Icha', organized his collection of every 'Icha-Icha' issue that has been released, thus far. As it got late, he began to become slightly weak and needed to get some rest. As Kakashi, changed into what he usually wore to sleep a wife-beater and a pair of boxers he heard, what sounded like giggling, come from his door way.

"Eh, I'm sure it was nothing", Kakashi said as he pulled the sheets up above his nose, kind of like his mask covers his face. He began to doze off as he began to hear strange noises. He wasn't able to see in his room because it was pitch black. He grabbed a kunai and through it in the direction of the noise. He heard a loud, girly scream and was then followed bye a short moan.

"Who's, there??", said Kakashi alert and focused. Kakashi got up and turned his lights on and saw something horrifying. Sasuke was standing in Kakashi's doorway, hands in his pants and a stain on the front of them.

"H-hi, Kakashi-sensei. I was just-"

Then all that was heard was the girly shriek of Sasuke being thrown out of Kakashi's window.


	3. Kakashi loves ramen

**The Secret Life of Kakashi Hatake**

**I hope you all enjoy!!**

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YAWN!!

Kakashi yawned as he clumsily sat up in his bed. He felt some rustling beside him and he was afraid it was another woman again.

"Dammit all, why is there another girl in my bed, again!", he said in a little fit.

He tossed the sheets off to find Lady Tsunade passed out with bottles of sake in her hand. His jaw dropped at the sight of her naked body. He slowly put the sheets back over her while she rolled over.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!", he mumbled quietly as he put his shirt and mask back on.

"Hmm, I feel as if I've forgotten something. Oh well, its no big deal."

He took the bottles of sake and finished it so there wouldn't be a mess everywhere. Then he bolted out the door as if he had committed a horrible crime. As he left Lady Tsunade woke up in a daze and scratched her head.

"Why is my hair so, sticky??", she whispered quietly to herself. Without worrying about it she plopped back down and fell back asleep.

**Later that day:**

Kakashi started to feel a little funny as the day slowly went on. He wasn't sure if it was the bottles of sake or the feeling that he had just had sex with the Hokage. He stumbled along and noticed his vision started to get a little impaired.

" Oh, yeah, it's the booze", Kakashi said as he began to stumble a little.

He stumbled into town drunk as all get out. As he walked along he noticed women were whistling and screaming out his name. Yet, some women covered their children's eyes and turned them away from Kakashi.

"Wh-what is -hiccup- with everyone?!", he slurred as he walked into the Ichiraku Ramen shop. There was a loud crash as the owner and his daughter dropped their bowls.

"What seems to be -hiccup- the problem guys?"

His daughter blushed insanely as Kakashi looked around in a daze.

"Hey, um, Kakashi, I love the view!!"

Kakashi in a daze looked down and notice he wasn't wearing any pants or boxers.

"GAHHH!! OH MY GOD!! I'M SO SORRY!! I LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!", Kakashi yelled in embarrassment. Kakashi blushed and started to run out as a hand reached out and grabbed him.

"Huh??"

It was the Ichiraku girl. She grabbed his arm and was blushing and giggling hysterically.

"Come with me Kakashi. I need you to help me, 'clean out' the fryer in the backroom.", she said as she bit her lip softly. And closed up the ramen shop.

"But there's no fryer back th-"

Then, Kakashi was pulled into the backroom quickly. All, that was heard were moans and groans.

No one really knows why Ichiraku was suddenly closed that day. Do you have any idea!?

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**Please add to your favs., alerts, and review this!!**

**More will be added as I see that this story is actually getting some attention.**


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